and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
