I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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