3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Dear god my vagina.
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