I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Randomize
