fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
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