Sry I called you an 8
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
