i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
This is the high leading the old right now
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
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