I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Randomize
