Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
Randomize
