I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
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