If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
No more Irish car bombs ever.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
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