The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
Your dad touched me again.
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Randomize
