Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
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