what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
Say something about gay babies.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
