Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
Randomize
