i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Randomize
