i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
