The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
