Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
