He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
