need another drink. this is the easiest way
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
