Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Randomize
