shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
