was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
Is it because I queefed?
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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