did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
Randomize
