I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
