Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
