Non-Jews are for practice
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
