the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
My feet surprised me
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