i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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