Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
