she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
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