Yo dont text me then not text me
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Randomize
