The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
