So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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