this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Success! We fucked roommates!
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