About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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