I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
