I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
you will always have a special place in my vag
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
