4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
