Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
accomplished twins. life is a go
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
Randomize
