your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
