and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
I want a musical about memes.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
