glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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