I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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