Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Randomize
