for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
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