I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
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