I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
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