Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
I understand Curling. That high.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
