I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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