so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
