We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Randomize
